Not Another Second

I have been angry.
At myself and towards others, for the simple yet atrocious reality of
 people harboring the mentality that they are better than others.
It began with ME.
 still thinking about a no longer friend of Greg’s 
who broke off all ties with Greg
 because he felt like he had to walk around eggshells with Greg.
When this happened months ago, my immediate response was;
“GOOD FORGET HIM GREG, 
you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.”
And oh I as Greg’s wife I  was LIVID.
I couldn’t even stand to think of this person,
-has the sheer thought of someone ever just irked you, this was one of those –
& then as I prayed 
& prayed
& prayed 
sure enough I realized the root of the issue,
I was HURT for Greg.  
I understand often friendships needing to terminate,
because some people are only for a season & some are just toxic.
but I was utterly wounded for the rejection Greg faced,
& mostly because I have grown to know Greg
to truly KNOW him
yes ALL of his beautiful & ALL of his ugly
 I knew them going in & no question chose to love him still;
 the past was the past,I knew every detail 
& where my concern lay was with his present and his future.
 Because I knew how much he’d grown
how much he’s fought to be the man he is today
& how EVERYDAY HE IS FIGHTING to be the self God created him to be.
I was infuriated & resented this person for dropping Greg like a fly,
 (especially at a time where Greg was making strides with his faith 
& wanted a Christian brother to enjoy life with as they spur each other on towards Christ.) 
INSTEAD Greg,  was tossed to the wayside 
because of the other person feeling like they had to walk on eggshells.
What annoyed me further, 
was this person had their fair share of ugly & Greg didn’t like any of it,   
but Greg always saw beyond that Greg saw hope for him, 
Greg knew JESUS was better than this persons worst ugly.
That person paid no mind to the progress Greg made, 
the way Greg wanted a friend who he could grow towards Jesus with
 nor the fact that Greg began to associate this person as such, 
then with a sprinkle of avoidance, a single eggshell comment, & an explosion
 the damage he had done.
Friendship over.
So I am ANGRY
months later because 

HOW DARE I
 for every moment turned minute turned hour turned day turned month
 I spent angry at this person,
 instead of praying for them, forgiving them, & wishing them well.
 Person, I am sorry for being so angry with you for so long.
 You were wrong about Greg, & you hurt us, but we forgive you & we love you.
HOW DARE THIS PERSON drop Greg,

 because he thought he knew Greg
 or he thought he was too good for Greg,
 well you didn’t & you’re not 
 but as I said we love you,forgive you & are cheering you on towards all God has for you.

HOW DARE YOU reader & HOW DARE WE humanity
for cultivating a mindset that allows for cruel, harsh, vindictive, jealous thoughts
for wanting people to fail  ICK  shame on us
for riding our high horses 
for forgetting that there is HOPE for everyone
for attaching people with a stigma for life, & not affording them the prospect of hope
for allowing anything to ring true,
that soothes & flatters the idea that you are a superior person.
our culture our generation takes home the gold for the most
 narcissistic generation by along shot, & I HATE that

lets shift the stats & be known for a people as a generation a culture who take home the gold silver and bronze for being selfless, grace – filled, & forgiving.

Don’t you see?
STEP OFF YOUR PEDESTALS PEOPLE THERE’S LOVE TO BE HAD
Your hate, bitterness, resentment,hostility towards humans
instead of towards the evil
is creating only more destruction!
It took me months to learn this lesson
may it only take you the time it takes to read this blog post
may youREMEMBER
everyone is fighting a hard battle in some way,
but as Mother Teresa would say “LOVE THEM ANYWAY”
BE KIND for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle.
but don’t just be kind 
be patient
be joyful
be listening
be forgiving
be light
be a breath of fresh air
be encouraging
be a friend
May we constantly be aware of anything,
that causes us to think of ourselves

as superior towards others because,

BREAKING NEWS PEOPLE
God loves the person you think you’re better than 
JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES YOU 
& because repetition is key as we’re learning this lesson together
God loves the person you think you’re better than 
JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES YOU
God loves the person you think you’re better than 
JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES YOU 
God LOVES the person you think you’re better than 
JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES YOU
You may choose to spend more minutes hours days years of your life
abiding in the field of bitter, 
drinking from the waters of pride
& soaking up the rays of pompous,entitled, resentful, better than mentality
but oh not I, not us
we’re over that, 
ANY TIME we’ve spent feeling cruelty towards others has been far too much
for this life is 
far to precious, 
& the love of Christ
 far to great & forgiving
….making us so inferior, but yet so valued.
so as for Greg & I
we’ll spend our time loving people
as for the time we’ll spend harboring superiority and ill thoughts towards others,
well,
not another second.

Dirty Dishes, Unpaired Socks, & Baby Names

It’s vital before getting married to have those serious discussions.
To discuss one another’s stances on a variety of issues in life,
that directly and indirectly affect the way you live,
both as individuals & as a couple.
It is crucial to be as transparent as possible, no holds barred.
A minuscule example that is about to make me seem real pathetic;
I DON’T enjoy doing the dishes.
 whatsover.
 at all.
I did when I was a kid,
 I don’t as a grown up, 
& if I had the choice
I would never do the dishes again.

Greg knows this about me.
HE KNOWS, 
he doesn’t get mad & isn’t surprised if they’re not done
now of course he doesn’t like it,
but he at no point went into the marriage with the disillusion that
” Thressa likes doing the dishes” or
” Thressa doesn’t like it now…. but she will in time”

So even now, 10 months in as i do the dishes & smile , 
its not because I like it 
or because he “changed” me.
It’s because we were free to be honest, we discussed it ALL.
and the simple reality that it needs done.
** let me be clear Greg does above & beyond his fair share of the dishes

Greg, he hates pairing socks.
It’s tedious, they frustrate him,& he never really cared for socks to begin with.
But when he does the laundry & socks are unpaired I’m not phased.
I just do my thing & pair away.

Discussing and understanding both the minuscule & major issues
 are extremely beneficial, & I can’t stress that enough
Well at least it was for Greg & I.  
If you haven’t done this thus far, stop reading my blog, & start talking.
Cover as much territory as possible.
No need to thank me later.

Even being the non-commitment person that I am,
I was committed on certain things, husband or not.

Amongst the many miniscual things such as dishes & socks,
 there were many major things we agreed on from the get.
One of which being children.
Early on we knew, we both wanted to be parents.
Whether naturally or through adoption, 
that was a mutual non-negotiable.
And before you get ahead of yourself, I am currently menstruating, so no.
And before you get ahead of yourself again, no we’re not “trying” to either.

But,
 having a dog, having to name that dog,
 & laughing at each others ideas for names
 got us thinking about kids.

And though you thought you thought you knew where this post was headed

” Got it Thressa; be as transparent as can be always, & especially
 in discussing each others stances on minor & major things ”
Partially,
 that was all a lead up
a prologue if you will
 to a brief dialogue based on a true conversation between Greg & I
as we threw around ideas for kids names;

“I’ve always loved Rahab.” – T

” no. Thressa your serious? Our daughter would be bullied for life” – G

” well my name is Thressa & I was still bullied all throughout life” -T

” yea but … come on… you know what people are gonna think of her” -G

” people are gonna think what they’re gonna think regardless”- T

” Thressa, that’s sweet but be realistic….” – G

“what so it’s realistic for everyone to name their sons David, Moses, or Noah, even though they weren’t always stand up guys, come on gimme a break” -T

“listen, i love you & i get what your point, but –“-G

” yea Greg? what is my point? who is she to you? when you think of her
what do you think of?” – T

” … she was a prostitute in the old testament, who helped the spies escape, & because of that her and her families lives were spared by a scarlet rope” – G

” She was a heroine, she was a woman who was brave, who when she discovered God EVERYTHING in her life changed, & her descendant is Jesus. And if she’s worthy of being part of the lineage of grace,
 she’s worthy of our daughters name” -T

” yea but when people hear her name they’re only gonna remember the prostitute part of her life, nobodies gonna hear Rahab & think the way you do”-G

“you can. it starts with you Greg. 
you can look at people & at the sound of their name 
hear only the yucky stuff that really we are all guilty of to some degree
OR
you can look at people & at the sound of their name, 
hear the clamor of redemption,
how God can change everything” – T

“okay…MAYBE her middle name” – G

to my one or two readers;
IT STARTS WITH YOU
do a heart check
it hurts doesn’t it ? when people think of you, or hear your name
 & all they remember you for, all they recall is all the wrongs or hurts.

Because we’re all guilty of the yucky stuff to some degree,
yet at the sound of His name there’s redemption,
that changes EVERYTHING.

I challenge myself & I challenge you
to stop looking at people
for who they once were, how they were once yucky,
how they are sometimes still & will occasionally act yucky from time to time,
& instead when you hear their name,
hear the clamor of redemption that is the name JESUS;
 & remember that he was a descendant of Rahab.

Tricentennial-dayversary

In February I wrote a Metade-versary  post, reflecting on our past 6 months of marriage.
So today I write, 
for I was awoken by a sweet & sudden kiss followed by a secure embrace, & Greg’s cute words
 ” happy 300 days of marriage amorzinha “
 As the kiss was sweet & sudden, so have these past 300 days together been,
so as it was in February I write today reflecting on our journey of 300 days !
Specifically focusing on the past few months that have yet to be reflected on .
the feelings felt, the lessons learned, & the adventures enjoyed.
 
*yes,”the month where” is intentionally a total spinoff off of FRIENDS’ “the one where”

M A R C H – the month where we LANCASTER’D
After hearing back from Milton Hershey regarding a position I applied for & getting turned DOWN, Greg and I turned UP as we  found an apartment, & signed a lease officially making the move. 
This month taught us how to take hits, & recover quickly. 
 Rejection stung, but we kept it moving… in this case literally, because we have our lives to be LIVED & to wallow excessively/coin myself a reject would be far too boring a use of our life.
We soaked up Lancaster Life in both the farm & city, 
& nestled right in between the two we found our new home church 
who immediately took us in with open arms, & called us family.
A P R I L- The month where we PINCHED PENNIES
we’re not sure how this happened but 90% of our immediate family has birthdays in this month.  Causing our love tanks to be FILLED 
& our birthday spending portion of the budget RUNNING ON EMPTY. 
This month of marriage reaffirmed that there is no price we wouldn’t pay, to spend time with family. 
Family is always worth the extra dollar.
and not just immediate family 
but the family you make along the journey of life
the family who may not share your blood,
but shares your heart.
this month taught us family is always worth the extra dollar & always worth the extra mile
              M A Y – The month where it RAINED & SHINED
The showers didn’t stop in April, they carried over strongly 
– back & forth – pendulum status into this 9th month of marriage.
 two sunSHINE promising job interviews accompanied by two RAINY no thank you’s.
fears of failure & friendlessness RAIN in putting a damper on our sunny life. 
one wonderfully rowdy dog adopted & cared for ,
 one WOUND to the shoulder at a baseball game & flyball caught ; HE’S OUTTA HERE! 
We adopted another dog, & we call her Lady but oh how animals bring so much sunSHINE!
  It SHINED when we celebrated our moms,
went outof the way to visit friends we love in Nyack and Jersey
& were thankful for this country we live in while soaking up some SHINE at the beach; 
and oh how our eyes RAINED, thundered,lightning-ed when we read the news aching 
for those in our community & around the world facing catastrophe & pain in a myriad of ways.
Some days the sun SHINES & some days it RAINS;  
but our marriage is being edified through it all
Rain or Shine ; we’re growing together & individually.
J U N E – The month where we WANDERED
we’ve already begun riding the motorcycle together, brewing together,
and WANDERING into the unknown of our city.
we’ve also been WANDERING into the unkown of our hearts
awakening dormant talents & passions.
we have a few adventures lined up right around the coner 
& are eager to have our 1st summer together 
-not just as husband and wife –
as a couple !
( because we each spent the past 5 summers serving all summer long at camp)
we are so excited to WANDER together this summer 
partaking in all the summer cliche’s 
as husband & wife.
 
I glanced at last months post to reflect
& chuckled at what I had written regarding where I left off inFebruary,
 because it pretty much applies to any moment of life & our marriage 
& it remains true;

“This month we’ve been transitioning, WAITING, trusting, and remembering;

 our God – our unshakeable Love- who roots us,
our family who unconditionally supports us,
and our covenant to another.”
and this picture says it all about this summer

we carry on 
WANDERING 

into the unknown
as per usual
hand in hand

Greggybear,
we had no clue what we were getting ourselves into
& I’m glad of it
for had I known how wonderful it would be,
I would’ve ran for the hills.
Thank you for being my realist, & keeping me grounded.
Te amo mais,
T