the cue : day 628

Have you ever felt like you’ve missed it?
In the acting world you’re given a cue.
Your cue is your guiding light,
Your cue tells you when it’s your turn to say your line
 or whatever the next direction is for you 
But I often felt like I missed it.
like I missed my cue in life.
I was attentive
 waiting for it 
waiting for it
and then somewhere along the way
it was altogether too late.
It felt as if my cue has come and gone
 come and gone
been repeated
 over. and. over.
and I felt like…
 I missed it.
and I was just staring into the stage lights
thankful I couldn’t see the crowd
 but knowing they were watching me ,waiting for me to shine
but I froze
I didn’t move
I felt stuck’
choked up
discouraged & defeated

I couldn’t muster up the courage, effort, or energy 
to move forward, because I missed it.

no quote, no bible verse, no song,
no words from a friend,
brought me to my senses.
But God in his infinite wisdom,
brought peace & clarity
through the words of a stranger.
 so as long as you’re reading this,
( & it remains true even if you’re not reading this )
so long as you have breath in your lungs
you haven’t missed it, you’re living it.
 and from the moment your mother gave birth to you 
and you breathed your very first breath
that was your cue 
and the rest is all a part 
of this wonderful story of your life
I was defeated and discouraged
I was convinced
that I was falling behind
& then I received the answer to prayer
for some clarity, comfort, and peace
to cease myself from beating myself up
to stop myself from believing the baloney sandwich
that I missed my cue
that it’s too late
in my love for reading,
 I found some of the most freeing words I’ve read in a while
not an inspirational quote, 
not a powerful bible verse,
but the words of a stranger

because writing and reading go together 
like birds of a feather
God used the words of a stranger to bring a sigh of relief 
to his overthinking it
over stressing it daughter
May these words free you,
as they’ve freed me.

read it word. for. word.
as many times as necessary 
until it sinks in
because
THIS BLOG IS ABOUT OUR COUNT UP
about all the days of being married
what it really looks like 
and the day to day realities of living to point to Jesus
& on some days it entails reading the words of a stranger
to bring you to your senses
to be gracious unto yourself
to just be and to take the time
& to  “give yourself permission to be a human being”
* disclaimer she does cuss occasionally, but don’t let that distract you from the power of her message 


you're doing great things (621)

It is VERY common in Christian circles to hear the encouraging notion

” you’re gonna do great things”
there in lies the pressure
have you felt it?
setting in?
GREAT things
for me, that panic set in long ago
the kinda panic and pressure that has you reaching for the nearest brown paper bag 
to calm ones breathing
I have to do great things
I have to make something of myself 
I have to be somebody
I have to end global poverty
I have to reach every nation
I have to change this world
Let me let a load of your shoulders
contrary to the words of Beyonce
who runs this? 
Jesus
He’s already made something of yourself.
He made you a somebody, your value is astronomical
He’s been, is, and will be the one who changes lives
now 
carrying on
” You’re gonna do great things”
we were visiting framily in VA and I was sharing my heart 
about how one of the biggest lies I believe Christians have come to obsess over is 
YOU’RE GONNA DO GREAT THINGS 
& what that has been interpreted to mean
it doesn’t mean stardom, it means literally loving your neighbor.
like the one next door , do you know them, do you care for them, do you pray for them?
it may seem like little things but THOSE are the GREAT things
readers digest version for those of you who are losing interest:
the GREAT things we are called to do, are actually ALL the LITTLE things
When you are challenged to do great things
DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT’S TRULY GREAT
this is not a new message
just a diminished one
one that’s swept under the rug, neglected  & thought of as 
” that’s cute but I need to be SOMEBODY I need to be GREAT “
let me tell you what’s GREAT:
doing GREAT things is breast feeding your baby, while watching your other play safely, and preparing for coursework for your students (shoutout to both the stay at home mama’s and working mama’s out there you are doing GREAT things, & your labor is NOT in vain you do NOT go unseen <3 )
doing GREAT things is spending time with your family
 there’s a reason Mother Teresa said ” you want to change the world go home and love your family”

doing GREAT things is laughing with your friend lightening her load when life just seems overwhelming to her, reminding her that she is loved loved loved, cars come and go but friends are forever
doing GREAT things is taking your dog for a run & realizing
 how refreshing this green earth is, 
how necessary the sun rays warming our face are 
how caring for animals reminds us of the compassion + gentleness that lies within humans, to take care of living creatures.
doing GREAT things is serving your customers with kindness and compassion
doing GREAT things is spreading education, empowerement, and expanding people’s worldview
doing GREAT things is befriending your coworkers 
doing GREAT things is celebrating the wins of others

doing GREAT things is feeling the pain of others during their losses
doing GREAT things is hating injustice, maltreatment and discrimination

doing GREAT things is seeing where there is need, and filling it
doing GREAT things is making amends & pursuing reconciliationta
doing GREAT things is in the walk, not the talk
doing GREAT things is less hostility & more forgiveness
doing GREAT things is seeing that kid in school sitting alone, & demolishing the status quo and inviting them not just to your lunch table, but into your life.
doing GREAT things , is in ALL the little things
that get overlooked
underappreciated
and that we feel isn’t enough
so in case you’re at all like me
and ever lose sight of what you’re doing with your life, 
or feel like ugh am I EVER going to do great things?
don’t. miss. this.
you’re doing GREAT things, by doing all the LITTLE things
 “When the ten others heard about this, they lost their tempers, thoroughly disgusted with the two brothers. So Jesus got them together to settle things down. He said, “You’ve observed how godless rulers throw their weight around, how quickly a little power goes to their heads.
 It’s not going to be that way with you. Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be last. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served—and then to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage.” Matthew 20:24-28

a month in the life: APRIL (601)

FEELING : overjoyed to celebrate my mom’s 50th birthday tomorrow ! Here come the golden years
LEARNING : the basics of how to capture lighting in photography 
PRACTICING : being a disciplined disciple & being intentional on doing more of what makes me come alive !
MASTERING : keeping this house of ours clean
EATING :  with people we love. 
LISTENING: to Jesus’ guidance, even when it sounds illogical
PLAYING : Scrabble 
FINISHING : up a birthday gift for mamae
WATCHING : the cat and making sure she backs up from my succulents.
WEARING : havaianas
WORKING : on  plugging into our church, & finding community. 
Thankful for the LOVEU smallish group series we’re participating in as husband and wife.
WALKING : out into the unknown future with a known God, because what he says  and where he leads matters more than the material securities that this worldbrings

TRAVELING : to Jersey for Mamae and Boston for Papai
DESIRING : quality people to do life with (aka friends /community )

CELEBRATING : Mae,Bruce, Bryann, Ashley, Dad, Jeff, &Brendan