I started writing this Irving’s Count Up blog
because I wanted to remember
all the ways
all the days
that God showed up,
and reminded us in our marriage
of His provision
of His protection
of His love.
I wanted this blog to serve as reminder to Greg and me,
that this marriage thing we’re in together
( this crazy beautiful exhilarating challenging thing we’re in together
this thing that is choosing each other day after day,
this thing that we realized day one we had no idea what we were really getting ourselves into…)
-God was guiding us through all the days, right there with us,
each day of our count up.
The happy days, the sad days.
The fun days, the mundane days.
The easy breezy days, and the hard days.
That God was with us, in all of our days of this marriage thing.
Due to yesterday’s events, I find it very fitting and necessary to write.
Yesterday marked 1,418 days Greg and I have been married.
It also was the day, that on my way to pick up Greg from work
I got into an awful car accident.
The front of our car was hit head on as I was turning left
my car swerved right
the air bag deployed
the condition of the car- wrecked, completely totaled
the condition of me – safe, scratched, and bruised
the condition of baby- safe, unscathed, still dancing.
( after the accident we went to the hospital, both me and the baby were monitored for hours before being discharged.)
As I sit here a day later and reflect,
and as I laid in Greg’s arms last night reflecting…
I kept replaying the scenario in my head over and over again.
I kept wishing I could rewrite our story for the better, changing the narrative, and prevent the accident all together.
I kept apologizing to Greg for ruining our car.
But I don’t want that to be the narrative of day 1,418
When I remember yesterday…
I want to remember the kindness of a stranger Theresa (of all names) who calmed me, embraced me, and told me that God was with me and that my baby is strong like their mama.
I want to remember the EMT who was kind and comforting.
I want to remember the towing company who helped my husband search through the rubble this afternoon (after we cleaned out our totaled vehicle) for my charm on my charm bracelet that I received day one of our marriage that said number one wife that had broken of and all the charms had dispersed as it was broken off during the accident.
I want to remember:
-> Greg’s constant reassurance throughout this entire thing
-> Greg’s boss who drove him to the scene of the accident and coworkers who prayed for us.
-> our family who showed up and brought us milkshakes and made turkey balloons out of lavender gloves in the triage room
-> the friends who brought us dinner
-> the family/friends who called, texted,showed up and prayed
I want to remember the way that sometimes awful things that happen have a powerful way of reminding you of how loved you are,
and how a stranger can show compassion and care long enough to soothe your shaky aching soul.
I want to remember the moment I stopped replaying how things could have been better, and started realizing how spared I was,
I want the narrative of day 1,418 to be how amidst the awful we found the good;
How if any of the variables were altered it could’ve been so much worse, had the car that hit me been going slower instead of as fast as it was or if I had been turning with more acceleration, the car that hit me could’ve hit my passenger door directly… which would have made it go from an awful accident to a tragic one .
I want the narrative of this accident to be how God showed up yesterday,
right there with us as he has been every day of this marriage thing.
Yes, OF COURSE, immediately following the accident
I was shaking
It was scary
When Greg arrived on the scene he was sobbing
I was praying non stop for this baby of ours to do a little dance to signal it was all good
But thats not the whole story.
Telling just that part of the story, or just focusing on that part of the story,
robs us of the rich narrative that our 1,418th day of marriage tells.
I want to remember day 1,418 as a day we learned to tell the whole story.
And the whole story was this:
Despite the awful car accident we experienced today, we also experienced miracle after miracle.
God provided – strangers, families, and friends
God protected- my life and our baby’s life.
God loved- through the provision and the protection.
I think what happens when we come face to face with our mortality, and are forced to recognize the brevity of life…
we hold the ones we love a little closer, and all the trivial worries of days before fall to the wayside.
So as God provided, protected, and loved on us… and we faced our mortality and were forced to recognize the brevity of life...it freed Greg and me to do just that.
To hold each other closer, to appreciate our lives, and to appreciate the miracle of having people in our lives who show up and love us.
Day 1,1418: Despite the awful thing we may experience in this life, there is miracle after miracle, and we make a choice in the narrative we tell.