“I Don’t Know What to Do”

Somewhere along the way I started to believe that in order to write something meaningful and inspiring it had to be lengthy. I really enjoy reading the prose of poets who say so much with so little.

But I hesitate to write short posts because I don’t want to aspire for a poet and end up sounding like a Kevin, ”Why use many word when few word do trick”?

So begins my attempt at a short post.

Today while I was eating dinner Greg and her were sitting on the kitchen floor. She was having fun then started crying. Greg picked her up she kept crying. Lady came over she kept crying. Greg put her back down she kept crying.

Then he said to me “I don’t know what to do”.

SoI washed my hands (because anyone who’s eaten with me before knows I prefer to eat with my hands no matter what it is… obviously not soup or cereal don’t be that person) and picked Maria up.

Fast forward Maria was now in bed after playing a bit more,getting a bath, and being rocked to sleep.

Greg and me went to the living room to debrief and as we revisited what happened he said, “I’m sorry I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t understand why she was upset”.

I turned to Greg and said, “You don’t need to know what to do. I often don’t know what to do … and that’s okay ”.

I preceded to tell him that I definitely don’t always know what Maria needs, but I know I can try different things to help her. And when I’ve tried all the things and just comfort her rocking her back and forth till she relaxes… never finding out specifically, I’m still a loving good mom. Even when I don’t know what to do.

I think with babies and people… we need to be gracious with ourselves, that we won’t always know what to do.

So long as we are in relationships with people there will be those “I don’t know what to do” moments.

But we have to finish that phrase with what I said to Greg,” I often don’t know what to do, and that’s okay”.

We are learning everyday how to take care of Maria better than we did the day before. To understand what she’s communicating is like trying to translate a foreign language using google translate … sometimes we get it right but most of the time it’s a rough translation that either leaves you laughing or more confused than when you started.

I comforted Greg by saying it’s okay to not know what to do, and I hope those words comfort you too.

It’s okay.


Say it with me:

I don’t know what to do, and that’s okay.


I don’t know what to do, and that’s okay.

Believe it.

Sometimes we don’t know what to do, and we won’t necessarily figure it out. And that’s okay.

You’re still in Greg’s case a good dad.

I’m still in my case a good mom.

And you’re still a loved human .

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