the cue : day 628

Have you ever felt like you’ve missed it?
In the acting world you’re given a cue.
Your cue is your guiding light,
Your cue tells you when it’s your turn to say your line
 or whatever the next direction is for you 
But I often felt like I missed it.
like I missed my cue in life.
I was attentive
 waiting for it 
waiting for it
and then somewhere along the way
it was altogether too late.
It felt as if my cue has come and gone
 come and gone
been repeated
 over. and. over.
and I felt like…
 I missed it.
and I was just staring into the stage lights
thankful I couldn’t see the crowd
 but knowing they were watching me ,waiting for me to shine
but I froze
I didn’t move
I felt stuck’
choked up
discouraged & defeated

I couldn’t muster up the courage, effort, or energy 
to move forward, because I missed it.

no quote, no bible verse, no song,
no words from a friend,
brought me to my senses.
But God in his infinite wisdom,
brought peace & clarity
through the words of a stranger.
 so as long as you’re reading this,
( & it remains true even if you’re not reading this )
so long as you have breath in your lungs
you haven’t missed it, you’re living it.
 and from the moment your mother gave birth to you 
and you breathed your very first breath
that was your cue 
and the rest is all a part 
of this wonderful story of your life
I was defeated and discouraged
I was convinced
that I was falling behind
& then I received the answer to prayer
for some clarity, comfort, and peace
to cease myself from beating myself up
to stop myself from believing the baloney sandwich
that I missed my cue
that it’s too late
in my love for reading,
 I found some of the most freeing words I’ve read in a while
not an inspirational quote, 
not a powerful bible verse,
but the words of a stranger

because writing and reading go together 
like birds of a feather
God used the words of a stranger to bring a sigh of relief 
to his overthinking it
over stressing it daughter
May these words free you,
as they’ve freed me.

read it word. for. word.
as many times as necessary 
until it sinks in
about all the days of being married
what it really looks like 
and the day to day realities of living to point to Jesus
& on some days it entails reading the words of a stranger
to bring you to your senses
to be gracious unto yourself
to just be and to take the time
& to  “give yourself permission to be a human being”
* disclaimer she does cuss occasionally, but don’t let that distract you from the power of her message 

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