When I was just a little girl my momma used to – sorry to disappoint cheetah girls fans-
say (in Portugese) that your friends will change,but your siblings are a constant.
Granted, it was often after a seemingly irreconcilable argument with my brothers,
so I never really wanted to hear it…
but as I’ve been growing older, I’ve been growing wiser in heeding her sage advice.
& last night I cried.
because of the immense privilege
of being a big + little sister, a wife, a daughter, & a friend.
don’t feel bad for me.
sometimes there’s nothing in this world like a good cry,
it reminds me that I’m human, that I am alive,that I feel.
I love & am loved, what a gift worth crying for.
because of love,
because of great weekends like this one ,
I found myself in tears,
the emotional equivalent of culture shock/jetlag if you will,
from being so lathered in love& not knowing how to handle it all.
I found myself in tears,
because I feel guilty for having this gift of loving + being loved, that so many don’t.
Birthdays growing up,
though dressed up in streamers, guests, & extravagant themes
at the core
were always about celebrating the privilege it is to be alive
& to reflect on what truly matters in this life.
In the day to day we forget.
we are consumed with personal, local, and international issues
(yes it’s crucial to take interest, be informed , & act in response to whats going on in our world) but
easily consume our
and if we’re not careful lives.
when was the last time your thoughts, time, & lives were CONSUMED
by the notion of how loved you are?
may it be today.
may it be right now.
(maybe not, that’s fine, may it be one day)
as you read each word,
may you STOP the fears, worries,despair
& may how loved you are OVERCOME you.
with tears,peace,laughter,joy & comfort.
for me it was last night.
so yes I find it refreshing
to STOP and CRY
to celebrate in weeping
saying what did I do to deserve such gifts?
i am loved by these people & “every moment spent with them is a moment i treasure”
so many would love to have a fraction of this
I cry + pray myself to sleep, because of being spoiled with love
of not wanting to close my eyes,
not wanting to fall asleep
cause in the words of Aerosmith again,
“I’ll miss you & I don’t wanna miss a thing”.
23 has been a year of the unexpected ( & i still officially have 2 days left)
Unexpected; moves, jobs, friends, dogs, & a church home.
As I approach this 24th year, I’m not sure what it will be a year of,
but one thing is for sure, this year my aim is to figure out;
how am I gonna change lives because of how overcome with Love I am?